Fred Thompson

Man, I almost hope that dude becomes president. It would herald the dawn of a radically new/insane era in world history. He would be like some crazy dude in a high school student body election running on a "beer vending machine in the cafeteria" platform. Except it would be awful. People would die and suffer as a result of his being a moron. And the moral history of the country would be not necessarily brought to its nadir so much as, like, blasted into atoms, leaving only a tingling sense of postmodern nullity. That's the sort of state my brain goes into just contemplating the stable of republican nominees. Every single one of them is insane. Every single on of them babbles incoherently. McCain babbles incoherently. Romney babbles incoherently. Guiliani strings together statements whose relation to one another can only be guessed at. I wonder to myself . . . could it happen? Could one of them win? What would it be mean? Could Jack Nicholson be elected president? Who couldn't be elected president? A cat? Doctor Dre?